I just feel…raw.  All the blog books say not to share personal things in your life because no one wants to hear.  I think that’s stupid.  How do you connect if you don’t share struggles and get personal. 

My dog got out today.  You can read how we got her here.  I put her back in our fence twice this morning and headed out to Bible study.  Instead of coming home for lunch and eating with my husband like we usually do, I called and asked if he wanted to meet somewhere for lunch.  Right after eating with him and getting into my car, I received a call from our vet saying that our German Shepherd had been hit.  Someone called them to let them know. 

I called the number the vet gave me.  I said who I was and why I was calling.  I asked what was happening.  The gentleman on the other end of the line told me he had hit our dog.  I thanked him for letting me know.  He said there was a vet that lived in our neighborhood that just happened to drive by.  She stopped to help.  The vet, the gentleman who hit my dog and another man lifted my huge sweet injured dog into her van, and away the vet sped to her clinic.

I reached the clinic before the vet did because I was already out.  I began questioning the receptionist.  As I did, I saw a mini van speed into the parking lot. It was the vet.  I didn’t have to see Queens.  They rushed her into the back and immediately began working on her. 

I knew she was going to be fine.  I wondered how long and difficult of a recovery we were going to face.  The receptionist left and returned and said Queens was surrounded by all of the office and they were working hard for her.

The minutes seemed so slow.  The vet finally came out and said, “I’m sorry.  There was nothing we could do.”  I kept looking at her and couldn’t wipe the smile off my face I had when she had introduced herself.  It was as if I was just frozen.  I told her, “I’m not getting this.  This isn’t sinking in.  How am I going to tell my kids?”

I have no idea what else we said.  I remember starting to cry in the office and excusing myself out the door.  I got in the car and immediately called Chris.  And now I’ve been crying all day and have a big fat headache.

I really can’t believe she is just gone.  Having to give the news to three kids at three different times was heart wrenching.

I don’t know why this happened.  What if I would have done a better job making sure she couldn’t get out of the fence this morning?  What if we hadn’t gone to lunch, and I could have gotten her back in the fence before 1:00?  What if that person would not have been leaving at just that time?

It doesn’t help to ask those questions.  It does help to think on these things:

We got to have the best dog ever for 2 years.

The person who hit her stopped and was gentle and helped her.

There was a vet that just happened to drive by at the exact moment she was needed. (The receptionist said the vet rarely goes home for lunch).

None of us had to see Queens in that horrible state.

The vet said she was out of it.  She doubted there was much pain.

Yes, dogs go to heaven.  There are five I can’t wait to see.

I know cat people and a lot of other people don’t get this.  But, there is just a hole in my heart.  One of the reasons I loved Queens was the security she gave me.  And, recently, God has been laying strength on my heart in our personal time together. 

Lucy and I read a devotion together every night.  Of course He gave us a good one this evening.  It was, “The Best Security System Ever”.  Here are some snippets:

“If you ask for My help, My strength will flow freely into you.” 

“You will be strong enough to face whatever comes.”

“I watch over you every minute, protecting you from both known and unknown dangers.”

“I never sleep; I never take a break; I never get distracted.”

“Trust yourself to My strength and My shield – I am the best security system you’ll ever find!”

He always is faithful and always comforts and make His presence known.  I know many of you are facing difficult challenges and sometimes just life in general can throw you for a loop, but the words He shared with me tonight are for you, too.  Oh, how He loves us.

I might go get a puppy tomorrow. Yes, it is a rash decision. 

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